Post-Degree?

Well, another update from me! I'm now a university student! Again?! Well haritu dekat UKM, now I'm in UiTM pulak. I've finished my degree in 2020 - had my convocation in 2021 due to Miss Corona. I did work, train in a few companies actually before deciding to pursue my studies. It was a tough decision as firstly - I did not plan to sambung belajar right after I finished my degree. For me, I still consider 2022 tu as "baru" habis degree as I had limited working experience as I keep changing(?) jobs. Not job-hopping pun because the first company - habis training so jobless lah, the next one? I don't think I can commit to that kind of lifestyle. I need my work-life balance to keep myself sane. Then I got bedridden for a month due to my backpain. Then barulah I macam... study sekarang jelah kot. You're not getting younger, your health is not getting better pun so sementara masih berupaya, belajar jelah. Another reason is that... I don't know where should I go. I'm still unsure about my path, nak kerja apa, my plans stopped until degree. I don't have any plans to unsingle myself because I'm always single :) So basically, I got no plans for my future except for sambung belajar lah. 

Other than that, I would like to announce (to myself) that I am moving on from my one and only unrequited love (finally). A little background of this boring story. I met him at work (we were both trainees in 2021). For me, it was love at the very first sight. Kalau tak, takkanlah sampai 2 tahun baru nak move on. I think I'm a bit psychotic jugak sebab I tried to find infos about him online, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn. That's how smitten I was. Then today, (28 May 2023), at 2 a.m., while listening to Mas Afgan's Ku Dengannya Kau Dengan Dia, I've made up my mind. I believe it's time. It's time to let you go walaupun 'WE' have never begun in the first place. It was all on me. I was alone in this journey of crushing on you. So I'm putting an end to this I-never-thought-that-I'll-move-on thingy. To M, Terima kasih sebab pernah wujud dalam hidup saya, walaupun hanya bayangan. If you ever readt my confession in my DM on Twitter, I deeply apologize for my straightforwardness. Walaupun saya cakap saya nak move on when I sent you that DM, tahun ni barulah saya ada secebis kekuatan untuk move on. I saw your LinkedIn profile, you seem to be thriving. Alhamdulillah. I just hope I could turn back the time and unsend that message, but saya dah pasrah. Lagipun it's not like we're going to ever meet again pun kan? Saya doakan awak bahagia. Kalau awak rasa awak perasan saya siapa, doakan saya kuat. Physically and mentally. I know it sounded weird because who the h- is this girl tiba-tiba nak minta doakan pulak. But saya rasa tak salah pun saya minta orang doakan. I cried this night, and best believe, I'm the ugliest crier ever. Malam ni saya berdoa pada Tuhan untuk tetapkan hati saya untuk lupakan awak. Saya dah delete number awak juga dari phone saya. I hope that'll help me. Semoga saya tak teringat langsung pada awak. Tak perlu doakan saya untuk bertemu jodoh yang boleh terima saya seadanya. Cukup doakan saya lupakan awak dan boleh hidup sendiri, independent. Sakit, memang sakit. Tapi kali ni saya nekad. Saya selalu bergurau dengan kawan saya Rai, yang saya dah berdamai dengan takdir. Tapi kali ni, saya tak main-main. Saya dah berdamai dengan takdir saya. Takdir saya tanpa awak didalamnya. Apa-apapun, terima kasih sebab buat saya rasa berbunga dalam hati selama ni. Walaupun awak tak kenal saya, tapi terima kasih. Sekurang-kurangnya saya pernah rasa suka pada seseorang. Cuma silap saya, tersuka pada jodoh orang lain. Saya doakan awak dengan jodoh (atau bakal jodoh) diberikan kegembiraan sehingga akhir hayat bersama. Bye M.

P/s: Dear reader(s), please pray for my studies. Doakan I can finish my studies on time with flying colours! Road to GOT!